It was most refreshing to come across an article entitled ‘Sex up your Veg’ in none other than Glamour magazine as I flicked through it this morning. Especially as vegetables aren’t for once, simply dismissed as a side or obligatory accompaniment to meat (grilled chicken or fish you know how it goes).
Here veg takes centre stage, with some rather exciting yet simple ways to well, make them more exciting to people who like to make ‘sex’ a metaphor for everything.
Recently I’ve been sexing my own veg/salad or at least preparing them for some very satisfying oral action, on account of warm weather and desire to shape up in time for an upcoming wedding/holiday in Hungary (apt).
Tofu has also made a surprising debut in my salads, after my skepticism over its default sludgy format. And I’ve been rather chuffed and self congratulatory of my creative use of garlic, bean brine and syrup. Summer is already looking very promising…
However despite my efforts, I still have enough humility to take heed from the advice of professionals, even if they are from Glamour. And I have to hand it to them, they do know how to make veg sound very glamorous indeed…
Meera Sodha whose site makes way for some fantastic veg curry recipes, advises leeks, carrots and potatoes go particularly well with cumin, and potatoes also with black pepper and turmeric (which I never know what to do with).
She further suggests adding ginger to greens and garam masala to aubergines, and her fool proof dish comprises of kale fried with cumin, chili, coconut and lime juice served with basmati rice.
Unfortunately Marc is adverse to frying at the moment (fattening).
Natasha Corrett suggests roasting colourful veg such as sweet potatoes, beetroot, tomatoes, fennel and celeriac with oil and cumin seeds and whipping them up into ‘quick’ dishes like sweet potato gnocchi, fennel and butternut curry or celeriac and cauliflower soup.
However, Marc is also adverse to roasting- something about carcinogens.
And now for the grand finale, something I have never entertained for fear of seaweed and other slimy deposits: a Japanese twist!
For this, Scot Hallsworth, founder of Japanese restaurant Kurobuta, advises chopping broccoli , green beans, asparagus, cabbage and courgette into bite sized pieces and splashing with sake (or white wine for us regular folks) some soy sauce, olive oil, a pinch of sea salt and black pepper. Cover with cling film for two minutes and boom! (That’s not the noise of the microwave exploding by the way).
However I don’t have a microwave so that’s out too.
I guess I’ll have to stick with my own innovative creations and newfound friendship with tofu. Maybe I could add some cumin and turmeric to raise the sexual parameter, and remain smug in the knowledge I too can compare with confidence, my own experience of eating vegetables and having sex.